Sunday, April 14, 2013

Reasons Why Zombie Apocalypse Will Not Last Long

Every zombie geeks got disappointed when 2012 ended without the beginning of their much anticipated zombie apocalypse. If in case zombie apocalypse did happen, I assume it wouldn't last long. Why? Here are the reasons:

1. Zombies Are Stupid

Seriously, why would anyone haven't thought of this yet? Zombies are only dead men walking. There's no blood circulating in their veins, which means, if there's no blood circulation, the brain and other senses won't function very well. People will only fear mindless flesh eaters who, most of the time tumble or hit walls again and again and again or lie on the floor like a vegetable while moaning and groaning asking for brains.

2. If The First Zombies Are Old People

You obviously know the reason why. Old people are too fragile and too slow to be hunting other people, and, if ever you are stupid enough to get caught, why should you fear? A Toothless elder gnawing at your skull? LOL, imagine how something like that would feel. I bet it's going to be a bit gross when you feel their gums touching your skin and a bit ticklish and also, it's kinda funny to imagine that a zombie should be wearing dentures, probably having arthritis and Alzheimer's and all that.

3. If Fat People Were The First Zombies

It's kinda like the second one but a bit more dangerous, well, a bit, like they're always hungry and they have a real set of teeth but still, they'll get frustrated on trying to catch you because of their heavy bodies that hinder their ability to run fast, they'll just end up sitting and start to eat their own fingers.

4. The Military Is Way Too Powerful While Zombies Can't Even Defeat A Pea Spewing Plant

Here is another disappointment, before you could even make use of your chainsaw, shotgun or any other weapons you've prepared for the apocalypse, the military would surely be the first one to eradicate the infected. How could a mindless, brain-eating horde without any equipment could match the military? Sure, zombies might have more strength than ordinary people but how could they possibly defeat soldiers who might be using a machine gun from a helicopter or inside a fully armored vehicle? Maybe if we live in medieval times and a zombie apocalypse occurs, there might be a big chance that a huge zombie infection could spread, but still, they can't even defeat garden plants (Plants vs Zombies).

5. Music is The Zombies' Weakness

Just as you think it won't get any worse, that's right, music. Just play Michael Jackson's thriller and they'll start dancing. Once they're distracted, you can either shoot them in the head or make an escape.

6. Chuck Norris

Yeah, I know, it's kinda getting old but it's a fact! Ever heard of that rumor when Chuck got bit by a zombie? The zombie turned into Chuck Norris! That's right zombies, you're all screwed!

7. Most Zombies Will Die Starving

Anyone wouldn't want to eat a food that tastes like crap. Zombies are still humans. They need proper nutrition for them to live healthy. Brains today could be considered as junk foods because of all the crap the media is feeding on this generation's mind, like this blog that you're reading. You still have jobs to do and homework to finish! LOL just kidding.

Did I forget something or you have anything you want to add on the list? Feel free to let us know and add a comment below!